


The very many deaths of Loki Friggason

by ClaraCivry (Kat_Of_Dresden)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: (but fixed), 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Gen, Mother-Son Relationship, Resurrection, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 02:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat_Of_Dresden/pseuds/ClaraCivry
Summary: Frigga made a deal so that Loki would come back every time he died.But all deals have their end...An excuse to resurrect Loki a bunch of times.





	The very many deaths of Loki Friggason

I.

Loki died many times before, but always managed to come back again.

He had always had a more frail constitution than the rest of Asgardian (perhaps because he'd been a runt, perhaps those terrible hours he spent on the ice before Odin found him had left sequels they would never know) and he was always much more afflicted with sicknesses. Fevers, especially, were very dangerous for him. 

One time, when he was barely an adolescent, one of these fevers claimed his life, and Frigga watched, powerless and the light left her son's green eyes, he stopped breathing, his heart no longer beat. And she couldn't bear the pain – so she decided she would not. 

She went to Hela. Her exile was supposed to be eternal – lasting until Ragnarok and even after. But Frigga offered her a deal: she would shorten her exile to Odin's lifespan if she used her goddess of death powers to bring back her boy, this time and any time while she was exiled. It was too good a deal to pass up for Hela (the chance to go back to Asgard, maybe even reclaim the throne) and so she happily complied. 

And so Loki's chest once again, his heart beat again. 

Odin raged, telling her wife that she had condemned all of Asgard just for one person. But there was nothing to do.... and as he watched his son sleep calm in his bed, Odin understood, and accepted. 

“I don't think I could have let him die either.”

II.

Loki had screwed up, and betrayed his brother, and killed people that had nothing to with him. After his whole life believing himself a prince of Asgard, son of the sunny Odin and Frigga, he doscovered himself to be nothing but a jotun runt, the son of a witless king that had left him to die shortly after he was born, too small and useless to be worth... of life.

And he was hanging by a thread and he didn't really know what did he have to live for. No matter what happened now, he would always be a monster, he would always be the second prince who wasn't even an Odinson. The liar, the betrayer, the one who no one trusted. When he did something to big, impressive, he then regretted. He had only wished to find a place in his family, and now he was being rejected. 

“No, Loki.”

That was it. He wold free everyone of the burden of Loki, free himself. He'd lived for too long, and would only disappoint his loved ones even more if he continued to live. 

(The truth was, Loki had always had some very carefully hidden melancholic tendencies, which was why it had been so important that Hela brought him every time he died, and not just when he perished from sickness or battle. Every. Time.)

He let go, and started falling on to the abyss, until the sheer speed he caught and the effect of it in his body left him breathless, brought his heart to a stop. Loki died while he was falling, and had hoped to stay that way. 

He didn't. 

III.

The Chitauri accidentally killed Loki while torturing, while trying to find out the limit of what the little Asgardian could withstand. It had to do with heat, again, as they had found out that it was what affected him the most. 

(They made him know pain, in a way he never had before)

His badly abused body lay there, agonising and badly burnt, and he half smiled. At least, if he died, they wouldn't be able to hurt him any more, and he wouldn't have to give in to their commands. He'd never liked bing anyone's puppy, following orders. Now, with him dead, they would have no envoy and maybe Thanos would be angry with them for being so careless with such a useful tool as an Asgardian prince. 

It would be good. 

But then he woke up, and understood that he probably couldn't, whatever the reason was. And if he couldn't die then they would get to torture him forever, in new and clever ways, and he would die, with all the pain and horror it brought with it, countless and countless times. 

So he gave in. Offered himself to go to Midgard, retrieve the Tesseract. At least, that would grant him some peace. Some time away from pain, if not from the the looming threat of what Thanos would do to him if he failed, if he caught him. 

And maybe he'd get rid of them, and from the shadows of that dark time in his life, hoping to die and never achieving it. 

IV.

His next death was much more pleasant. 

He got to be the hero, he got to be held for once, he got to apologise to his brother for that he had done. 

Sure, being impaled had been horrible, and he would have to add that scar to his already impressive collection (not to mention the pain, but what was that compared to what he'd already been through? Nothing) but it had been almost... satisfying. He made up with the person he cared about the most, redeemed himself for past mistakes without having to actually defeat Malekith and continue to be the good man he wasn't (yet). 

He came back disguised and managed to snatch the throne. It was his moment of glory. 

(Then Odin died and Hela came back. Frigga's deal expired, unbeknownst to Loki. She would no longer bring him back, but still Loki would die.)

V.

Thanos killed Loki, as he promised he would, and he stayed dead. 

A war waged, superheroes and supervillains, fighting for the lives of all the inhabitants of the universe. They were all too busy to care about Loki, all too busy to bury... he'd been nothing but a minor player in the whole ordeal, killed before he had a chance to make a difference. 

Loki hadn't known this time it would be so definitive, he hadn't wanted to go like this, alone, small, insignificant. He'd wanted a grandiose death, and grandiose mourning, like in Asgard. He had hoped...but he could no longer hope, or feel, or do anything. He was dead, and forgotten.

Loki was gone. 

+1

“Look, Bucky, he's waking up! I think we did it!”

A female voice said, belonging to one Wanda Maximoff. 

The one called Bucky came, and smiled.

“Welcome back, man! Thor is going to be so happy!”

Wanda and Bucky had teamed up, trying to somehow bring back her brother and Steve – if there were mind altering stones, surely there had to be a way to bring people back? They stole things from Strange's library, the spoke with sorcerers of other planets. 

And one day, a presence (Wanda couldn't know exactly who she was, but it was a woman, and she had been a queen, sometime) spoke to her in a dream, told her to to try in a specific way. 

And it worked. 

Loki's heart beat again, he breathed, his eyes opened. 

As well they should.

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I deal with Infinity war anxiety, by resurrecting Loki even before he dies. 
> 
> Hope you liked and thanks for reading!
> 
> Feedback would be lovely :)


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